Asset Management
by Lenore

Summary: Size matters. Except when it doesn't.

Warnings: Rated NC-17. m/m

Note: Big thanks to Velvetglove and Sarah for beta reading!

Clark would not have said he was dreaming about his first time with Lana, but only because he thought it sounded kind of girly. He did freely admit that he had been thinking about it, very enthusiastically, for some time now. And, while he didn't necessarily picture a room bathed in candlelight and a bed strewn with rose petals--because, hey, still a guy--he did want it to be an occasion to remember.

When it turned out to be highly memorable, but not in the good way, he kicked himself for not being more specific about what he wished for.

Clark had thought the hard part would be finding the right place. He didn't want their first time to be rushed and furtive, up in the loft or in the office at the Talon with the door locked. But where could two teenagers be alone without anyone walking in on them? It presented quite the challenge.

The answer came, rather surprisingly, from Mr. Hawthorn, part-time neighbor of the Kents, full-time obnoxious yuppie. Mr. Hawthorn came to his country cottage in Smallville on the weekends to bird watch and feel superior to the locals. The rest of his time he spent in Metropolis making a fortune in the stock market and bedding his brokerage firm's hot young secretaries. Or so he liked to claim.

"Young Farmer Kent," Mr. Hawthorn's voice rang out one afternoon as Clark was pitching hay.

Clark's back went stiff with irritation. He really hated being called that. In fact, he couldn't recall a single conversation in which Mr. Hawthorn hadn't managed to insult him or his family in some way.

Only the threat of one of his father's long-winded, platitude-filled speeches kept him polite.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Hawthorn?" he asked, as pleasantly as possible.

"Going to be away for a month, Kent. Business. Can't get out of it. I need someone to check in on the house for me. Keep an eye on things. Pays $50 a week. Thought of you. Your family could use a few extra dollars, I expect."

To Clark's credit, the urge to blast the man with his heat vision was only fleeting.

"Sure, Mr. Hawthorn. I can do that for you."

"Great." He handed Clark the keys. "Every other day or so is fine. And don't be shy about bringing your little cupcake along. I expect the back seat of the car is starting to get old by now."

Clark blushed ferociously. "Mr. Hawthorn, I wouldn't--"

The man held up his hand. "I don't mind, Kent. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I remember what it was like to be a teenager. Just make sure you clean up after yourselves. I'll be back on the 19th."

Clark's mouth hung open as he watched the man walk away. He briefly considered hurling a hay bale through the windshield of his impeccably detailed BMW. Hey, freak farm accidents did happen. But then he remembered the key in his hand and shrugged. Mr. Hawthorn might be a creep, but Clark was sure Lana would think the cottage was cute. That was almost enough to make him forget the cupcake remark.

Of course, Clark knew the most difficult part would be talking Lana into the plan. They'd only broached the topic of sex in the vaguest terms before. Lana had mentioned something about waiting, although she hadn't specified what she was waiting for.

Over the next few weeks, Clark found himself sounding like every pushy boy ever portrayed in an after-school special. He made earnest pronouncements about taking their relationship to the next level and demonstrating their commitment to each other. He talked about love being a verb, the most beautiful thing two people could do together. He said he would respect her forever.

When that failed to get any reaction at all, he wheedled, cajoled and finally just flat-out begged.

It was the begging that ultimately did the trick.

Just as Clark predicted, Lana thought the cottage was "totally adorable." He shyly gave her a bunch of wildflowers he'd picked. She smiled, and he led her into the bedroom. Golden late-afternoon light streamed in through the windows as they started to undress, and everything seemed to be going his way, at long last.

Later, he would fault himself for forgetting about Murphy's Law, the ever-present force that governed the life of Clark Kent. But, God, who would ever have guessed things could go that wrong?

Clark had expected Lana to be timid about seeing him naked, but he'd never imagined her backing away shrieking in terror. He tried to calm her down through a steady, hysterical stream of Good God, what is that? and It's just not natural! Clark wondered if maybe super powers of persuasion might be one of his gifts, because he did eventually get Lana onto the bed and convinced her to let him try. Although her wailed litany of It's never going to fit! was rather distracting.

Finally, it all devolved into a fit of tears--not his, at least--although he was rather tempted. Lana pushed him away and scooted off the bed, keeping a wary eye on his cock as if she was afraid it might lunge at her. She grabbed her clothes and threw them on haphazardly. Clark watched her flee, her jeans still undone, feet bare, shirt bunched up in the back showing her bra strap, apparently too frantic to get away to even care.

So much for being physically indistinguishable from humans, Clark thought, miserably.

Clark knew the rules of the locker room as well as any guy, and he'd always kept his eyes to himself before. But now, he was desperately in need of comparative data, and he figured having some of his classmates convinced he was scoping them out was a small price to pay for this very important research. What he discovered put him in an even blacker mood than Lana treating him like he was invisible every time she had the misfortune to run into him.

Contemplating a long life of enforced celibacy took its toll on Clark, and by Thursday afternoon, he was a depressed, embittered basket case hiding out in the loft, unfit for human company. In more ways than one.

When he heard a tread on the creaky stairs, he called out rather testily, "I don't want to talk about it, Mom, okay?"

"Okay by me, Clark. Although I have to say your tone seems a bit hostile. I'm sure your mother is only trying to be helpful."

Clark's head snapped up. "What are you doing here, Lex?"

"Just thought I'd come by and check on you. You've been kind of missing in action lately."

"Can no one around here grasp the concept that I just want to be left alone?"

Lex held up his hands. "Hey, I didn't mean to bother you. I'm just concerned, that's all. One day you're telling me that you and Lana are meant to be, and the next she's bursting into tears anytime anyone mentions your name down at the Talon."

Clark's face darkened. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Does this have something to do with why you had to leave the engagement party early? With what happened to Walden?"

Clark jumped to his feet. "Can't you mind your own business for once in your life?"

Lex's jaw tightened. "I'm just trying to help, Clark."

"Well, you can't. Nobody can. So leave it alone. Okay?"

"How do you know no one can help if you don't give anybody the chance? Maybe that's the problem with Lana. Maybe if you'd just--"

"That is not the problem with Lana."

"If you'd confide in me, I might be able to--"

Clark's eyes flashed with rage. "You want to know so much? Fine. I'll tell you. What Walden said is true. I am an alien. No actual plans to take over the world, but still. An alien. And not just any old alien. But an alien with such a freakishly huge extraterrestrial cock that I'll never, ever be able to have sex with anyone. Is that enough information for you, Lex? Are you happy now?"

"Clark." Lex's voice had taken on the soothing quality people instinctively used with fretful children and skittish animals. "Just try to calm down. I'm sure it's not--"

"Don't tell me to calm down. How would you feel if you could never--"

"How do you know that? I don't understand where you've gotten this idea. Does it have something to do with why you and Lana are avoiding each other? Did she tell you that you're too big?"

Clark looked down at the floor. "She practically ran for her life."

"Clark." Lex put his hand on Clark's shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. "It's going to be okay. I swear. Come sit down. Let's figure this out."

Clark took a deep breath, his anger evaporating, and he let Lex guide him over to the sofa.

"So what happened?" Lex asked.

He sighed. "We were, you know--" He turned a little red. "It was our first time. And everything was going fine until she saw-- And then she freaked out. I mean, she still let me try, but she kept saying it wasn't going to fit. And I was--God! So nervous. And I couldn't-- No matter what I did, it just wouldn't-- And she cried. And ran. I wasn't making that up." He shook his head. "I'm too big for humans, Lex. I'll hurt anyone I try to have sex with."

Lex nudged him with his elbow. "Come on, Clark. I don't mean any disrespect to Lana, but she's not particularly experienced and hardly the best judge of these things."

"I've seen the other guys in the locker room, Lex. I'm--well, let's just say I'm in a league of my own."

"I'm sure you're just at the far end of the normal range."

Clark made a skeptical face.

"Have you ever seen a gay porn video, Clark?"

Clark squirmed uncomfortably. "Uh. No."

"Well, those guys have massive dicks. You can't possibly be bigger than that, or it wouldn't fit in your pants. And if they fuck other men, then you can certainly sleep with a woman without fear of doing bodily injury. Trust me on this."

"Um, so you…you, uh…watch gay porn?"

Lex blinked. And then smiled. "You know, Clark, I truly appreciate that you've refused to draw any conclusions from the fact that I spend the GDP of a small country on clothes and my favorite color is lilac. But, yes, I do swing both ways."

Clark couldn't help staring. "Really?" Lex had always seemed so devoted to chasing women. And he was engaged to Helen.

"Really. But that's not important. We were talking about you and your, er--challenge. I know you had an unfortunate experience with Lana, but size wasn't really the problem. You were nervous. She was scared. Nobody has good sex when they're tense."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"You just need some confidence, so you can put Lana at ease. If you are bigger than the average guy, you might have to do things a little differently, go slower, be more careful. You just need some practice, you know, managing your assets."

Clark started to get agitated again. "That's just great, Lex. Where exactly am I supposed to get this practice?"

"From somebody more experienced. Somebody who's patient. Who'll work with you. A good teacher."

"I don't know any girls like that. And even if I did, I couldn't have sex with them. That would be cheating. I mean, Lana and I may not exactly be speaking to each other right now, but we didn't break up, either."

"I can do it for you."

Clark had never thought jaws could actually drop, but then his did. "What did you just say?"

"It's the only logical answer. I mean, it won't be cheating. Sex between guys is in a whole different category. And, besides, it's therapeutic. More medical than sensual. And if you're not too big to penetrate a man, you won't have any worries with women." Lex looked pleased with himself. "It's the perfect solution, don't you think?

But Clark's brain was still lagging a step behind. "You mean--you want me to--" He turned scarlet. He couldn't even say the word. "To you?"

"That is the idea," Lex said, dryly. "Don't worry. I have done this before, Clark."


"Unless you've made your peace with staying a virgin for the rest of your life."

Clark glared at him. "You know I haven't."

"So, come on. Lighten up. I know I'm no Lana, but--"

"It's not that, Lex."

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem is that I'm huge. Seriously. I know you think I'm exaggerating, but, trust me, I'm not. I appreciate that you want to help me. I really do. But it won't fit, and I don't want to hurt you."

"Clark, I can handle it. You trust me. The only question is where we can go. I'm afraid the castle is out, for obvious reasons."

"If this is going to come between you and Helen--"

"Helen knows I'm bisexual. She understands I'm going to sleep with the occasional man, and she's okay with it. She just doesn't ever want to know the details. So don't worry about that. Still, it does leave the issue of where."

"Well, actually--I mean, if you're sure it's not going to cause you any trouble--"

Lex smiled confidently. "I'm positive."

"Then I know a place. But it'll have to be tomorrow." Henry Hawthorn was due back the day after that. "Is that okay?"

"Tomorrow's fine."

"Okay. Come get me when school's over, and I'll take you there."

"Great," Lex said, getting to his feet, looking perfectly casual, as if they'd just made a plan to play pool instead of-- "See you then, Clark."

He headed for the stairs.


He stopped. "Yeah?"

"Uh. Thanks."

Lex shrugged. "Hey, what are friends for?" And disappeared down the stairs.

Frankly, Clark had never thought it was for practicing sexual penetration, but then, clearly, there was a lot about this human life he still had to learn.

The next day, Lex was right on time to pick him up. Clark gave him directions. Otherwise, they didn't say much. Clark was practically vibrating out of his skin he was so nervous. Lex seemed perfectly relaxed, just not in the mood to chat.

They pulled up to the cottage, and Lex raised an eyebrow at him. "Henry Hawthorn's place?"

Clark shrugged. "Hey, he said I could bring my cupcake over for some nookie as a fringe benefit to watching the place for him."

"He didn't really say that."

"He did."

Lex rolled his eyes. "That guy is such a jerk. I'm always hiding behind potted plants at charity events to try to avoid him."

"Hey, we can always snoop through his drawers afterwards, if you want. I have the feeling we'd find plenty of blackmail material."

Lex grinned.

Inside, Clark led him to the bedroom.

"Um. So. Should I just--" He trailed off. No way could he say "whip it out" to Lex.

Lex's eyes sparkled with amusement. "Come here." He pulled Clark over to him by his belt loops and started to unbuckle his belt.

Clark sucked in a surprised breath. "You're going to--"

"Assess the situation." Lex unbuttoned and unzipped Clark's jeans, gently pulled down his underwear. "Oh, my."

He wasn't screaming or backing away, which was a definite improvement. But Lex was staring. More in awe than terror, Clark thought. But still. Staring.

Clark fidgeted nervously. "I'm no bigger than the guys in those videos, right, Lex?"

"Well, Clark--let's just say that if you had any inclination toward a career in the adult entertainment industry you'd definitely be a star."

"Fuck! It's hopeless. I knew it was."

"Don't panic. We haven't even gotten started yet."

Lex pulled out a small tube from his pocket, squirted something into his hand and reached for Clark's cock.

Clark's eyes widened. "What are you--"

"I need to know the full extent of what we're dealing with."

"Oh." Clark swallowed nervously.

Things had gone really badly with Lana after she'd seen him hard. He could only hope his enormous alien erection didn't drive Lex away, too.

But Lex didn't look as if he was planning to go anywhere anytime soon. He stroked Clark's cock and stared, the little pink tip of his tongue peeking out at the corner of his mouth. Clark would not have predicted he'd respond to a man's touch like this, but then, it was Lex. And Lex certainly knew what he was doing. It took every bit of self-control Clark had not to whimper, not to push himself into Lex's hand. This was supposed to be educational, and Lex was his friend. Rutting against him like a horny dog just seemed rude.

"It's okay, Clark," Lex coaxed, gently. "Do whatever feels good. That's the whole point."

Clark let out a grateful sigh and eagerly thrust his hips forward. "God. That's just--incredible."

"Yeah, Clark. Yeah." Little flick of his wrist, and Clark moaned in the back of his throat. "Get comfortable. Take your shirt off."

"Mmm." He scrambled to get his T-shirt over his head. "I want--"

"Take off whatever you want," Lex urged.

His skin was so hot, and everything felt so good. And Lex didn't seem to find his body in any way appalling. In fact, Lex licked his lips whenever he looked at him. Clark quickly ditched his pants and underwear.

"God, yeah." Lex ran a hand down his side. "Big and gorgeous everywhere."

Clark pressed himself close. He fingered the buttons of Lex's shirt. "Can I?"

Lex nodded, his eyes shining. Clark's hands shook, and it made him clumsy. But he really wanted to be the one to get Lex naked. Lex was a paragon of patience and let him. Clark finally managed to peel Lex's shirt and pants off. He hesitated a little at his briefs, but the need to see everything chased away his shyness.

Clark had never considered the possibility that a man could be beautiful to him, but Lex was. He really was.

Their eyes met, and everything else seemed to recede. Clark felt certain Lex could read his expression, could see everything Clark was thinking, wanting, but he couldn't look away. And then his lips were on Lex's. Or Lex's were on his. He couldn't be sure who made the first move. Not that it mattered. Not when Lex's mouth was hot and sweet, his tongue inquisitive, his naked body, slim and strong, pressed against Clark's, skin sliding over skin.

Any thought of what they were there to accomplish got lost in the heat and the need, until Lex pulled away. "Foreplay is important," he said, breathing heavily. "It'll make her more comfortable. Put her in the mood."

Clark blinked, confused for a moment. "Oh, right. Right. Good."

And it was, damned good, any excuse to kiss Lex again.

His hands hovered hesitantly at Lex's hips. "Is it okay--"

"Yeah. Touch me," Lex said, urgently. "Touch me. Anything you want, Clark."

Clark's touch was tentative at first, delicate little brushes of his fingers along Lex's sides. But all the different textures of Lex's body, lean muscle of his belly, hard jut of his hip bones, smooth, smooth skin everywhere, and it fascinated him. Made him bolder. He'd never thought much about the vein running along his own cock, but he had to explore Lex's, follow it with his fingers, learn Lex's cock completely.


Lex begging, and that was--God--better than Clark ever thought anything could be. He wrapped his hand around Lex's cock and pumped experimentally.

Lex's head fell back. "Oh, God! Clark."

And Clark got it now. This was how sex was supposed to feel, like you were giving the other person something, not fraught and shameful, like you were trying to take something away. He moved his hand on Lex's cock, doing to him all the things he did to himself, and every hitch of Lex's breath, every little whimper, every desperate moan was the best present ever.

When Lex batted his hands away, Clark started to protest. But Lex's eyes were dark and bottomless, and Clark could only stare.

"Come over here." Lex's voice was commanding, and Clark let him take his hand.

Lex led him to the bed, and Clark's heart started to beat faster. Lex sat down on the edge of the mattress, maneuvered Clark by the hips until he was standing in front of him.

"It'll help if you take the edge off first," Lex explained. "So you can be more patient, take your time."

Clark's eyes went wide. "Oh."

He was pretty sure that even if he had a normal-sized, non-alien dick Lana would never take it in her mouth. But Lex licked his lips and bent his head, and Clark really couldn't see the need to share that particular information, not right this moment.

Not when just the sight of Lex going down on him was going to provide jerk-off material for the rest of his life, his throbbing dick stretching Lex's soft, pink, scar-split lips. Hot, wet suction, in all the right places, and Clark could never again fault his cock, no matter how oversized or alien or inconvenient it proved to be, not when it made him feel this spectacularly good. Lex hummed softly as if Clark tasted really, really delicious, and there was just no way anyone could last long with Lex Luthor making yummy noises around his cock like that.

Clark gripped Lex's shoulders and tried to warn him. "Stop! I'm going to--"

But Lex just sucked harder, until Clark bucked up and shouted his name and came in long, mind-melting spurts.

Clark panted like he'd run a marathon. Lex licked the come from his lips with a flick of his tongue, and that did not make it any easier for Clark to breathe.

Lex petted his hips. "If she won't suck you, you can jack yourself off before you go to meet her," he said.

Clark lowered his eyes. "Oh. Um, okay."

Lex smiled up at him, pressed a kiss to his belly. "Hey, don't go getting an attack of Kent guilt on me. I'm not Lana. I liked sucking you."

"You did?" he asked, both pleased and surprised.

"Of course. You're not only gorgeous, but you taste good, too." Lex winked at him.

Clark turned pink, but in a good way. He eyed Lex's erection curiously.

"Can I--"

"I'd love that. But you need to get me ready. I want to come when you're fucking me."

Clark's pulse spiked off the charts. His spent cock stirred painfully to life again; thirty seconds wasn't enough recovery time even for him. Lex stretched out on the bed, turned on his side.

"What do I do?" Clark asked, his voice embarrassingly high-pitched.

"Don't be nervous. Just come lie down beside me."

Clark nodded. He knew how to do that, at least. He slid onto the bed, pressed his chest against Lex's back. He brushed a kiss to Lex's shoulder, and Lex let out a satisfied little sigh.

Clark buried his face in the curve of Lex's neck. "Mmmm."

"What?" Lex reached back and stroked Clark's hair.

"Nothing," he said, a little sheepishly. "It's just--you smell good."

Lex pulled Clark's hand to his mouth, kissed his palm and then pressed the tube into it.


"Lube. The best friend a guy with a big cock can ever have."

"You mean, you want me to--"

"With your fingers first. Loosen me up. And then a lot of it on your cock. You'll want to do the same thing with her, even if she's really wet. Trust me. Lube makes everything easier. And much better."

Clark rubbed nervous circles over Lex's thigh. "You're sure you want--"

Lex glanced back over his shoulder. "I'm sure, Clark. I'll like it. I promise." A deep, wet kiss as a pledge.

Clark fumbled with the lube and then fumbled some more getting his finger into Lex's body. He wouldn't have expected anyone to like being poked like this, but Lex rocked his hips back for more and made eager, encouraging little noises.

"That's good, that's good," he said when it was enough, and Clark withdrew his fingers.

Lex pulled himself up onto his knees and straddled Clark's lap. Clark's eyes went big, and he suddenly forgot everything he'd ever known about the mechanics of breathing.

"Just relax," Lex said. "Let me do all the work."

Lex scooted forward a little and positioned himself over Clark's cock.

"If your partner's on top, she'll feel more secure," he explained. "Knowing the penetration is completely under her control. She can go as slowly as she wants, take all the time she needs to adjust."

Lex slowly began to sink onto his cock, and Clark's mouth fell open and his eyes squeezed shut. Okay, so he had been dreaming about sex, even if that did sound girly. In fact, he spent practically every waking moment fantasizing about it. And yet, nothing could have prepared him for the reality.

But then he heard a labored sound, and his eyes popped open. Lex's face was grim, determined. His hands shook where he gripped Clark's shoulder. Clearly he was in pain, and Clark didn't want anything badly enough to hurt Lex. Ever.

"Don't force it," he said. "Please. I would never forgive myself if--"

A quick, sharp kiss. "You're sweet, Clark. But you give up way too easily."

Sweat beaded along Lex's forehead. He was panting hard. And Clark thought it was hardly overreacting to suggest they stop. But Lex always had been stubborn.

"Talk to me," Lex said. "Encourage me. Distract me. Get me hot. Tell me what you'd tell her."

And Clark knew there was no dissuading him.

So he kissed Lex's mouth. "You don't know how amazing you look doing that." Kissed his neck. "How good you feel." Licked his collarbone. "How much I want to be inside you."

Lex moaned. Clark's hands roamed all over his pale body, rubbing a nipple, stroking his thighs, tracing the muscles of his biceps as they flexed. And suddenly he realized. This had nothing to do with Lana.

"You're so beautiful, Lex," he whispered.

Lex blinked. And then he kissed Clark fiercely. Let out a loud hiss and pressed down onto Clark's cock until his ass rested in Clark's lap.

Clark bit his lip, hard, against the sudden pleasure of being all the way inside Lex. "God," he gasped. "You're so tight." He rubbed Lex's arms. "Are you okay?"

Lex's expression was still strained, but he nodded. "I'm fine. How do you feel?"

"God. Incredible. This is so amazing."

Lex's lopsided grin. "It gets even better."


But then Lex moved, and every nerve in Clark's body lit up like a sky full of fireworks on the Fourth of July.


Lex laughed. "Yeah. Fuck. You're fucking me, Clark. I told you that you weren't too big."

And, God, Clark had never been so glad to be wrong in his entire life. Clark held Lex's hips, and Lex twisted and shimmied and bobbed, until Clark was half blacking out he came so hard. Lex's come splattered his chest as he climaxed too, calling out "Oh, God. Oh, Clark."

Lex slumped against him in exhaustion, and Clark held him tenderly, his hands wandering aimlessly over his back. Finally, Lex carefully disengaged himself and groaned softly as he settled down onto the mattress.

Clark tensed. "God. Did I hurt you?"

Lex smiled. "I'll be a little sore. That's all. How are you doing?"

Clark couldn't help his bright, goofy grin. "I'm fantastic."

"I'm glad," Lex murmured, softly. "Mmmm." He curled up and closed his eyes.

Clark lay down beside him, gently pulled Lex into his arms.

"It's okay, Clark," Lex said, sleepily. "You kind of wore me out. I just need to rest a minute. You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

Clark tucked Lex's head under his chin, pressed a kiss to his temple, rubbed his shoulders.

"I don't think that's something you want to teach me, is it? To run out on a person who's just made my eyes roll back in my head?"

He felt Lex's smile against his chest, and Clark smiled too. He'd just had sex. With his best friend. Who was a man. Who knew he was an alien. And didn't think his cock was too big at all.

Clark had never felt better in his life.

After his afternoon with Lex, Clark felt like a prisoner who had been suddenly, miraculously paroled. No bleak, endless future of cold showers and lonely masturbation for him. No, sir!

He went around whistling, a big smile on his face. His parents didn't know what to make of him. Pete asked, only half-jokingly, if he was on crack. Clark didn't care. He wasn't too alien to have a normal sex life. The world was a beautiful place.

Of course, things were still tense with Lana. Lex had advised him to play it cool, to let her come to him, and for another long week he held back, tried to stay patient whenever she startled like a nervous cat around him. He had just about given up hope. In fact, he was even starting to think maybe it was for the best it hadn't worked out between them. If she couldn't handle his--uh, extra bounty, she certainly wasn't going to be thrilled about his other, more significant differences.

But then one day, out of the blue, she showed up at his locker right before fifth period.

"Hey, Clark."

He swallowed nervously. "Lana."

She looked down at the floor. "I, uh--just wanted to say--" She shifted her weight awkwardly. "I'm sorry, Clark. I shouldn't have acted like that. I just-- It took me by surprise, and I--didn't handle it very well. Do you think you can forgive me?"

The tight feeling in his chest eased a little. "Sure. I mean, I know it was--um, kind of startling and--"

"I want to try again."

He blinked. "What?"

"We were both nervous. And I'm sure if we just take things slow…I don't want to give up on us, just because you're--" She blushed delicately.

His first reaction was abject gratitude. "Oh, God, I'm so glad. I really want--"

But then an image of Lex popped into his head. Lex listening to him blurt out the truth about his other-world origins as if it was any other teenaged secret. Lex looking at Clark's body like it was something to cherish, not something to be afraid of. Lex understanding, not judging. And suddenly Clark couldn't go on pretending. If Lana really wanted him, it was going to have to be for who he really was.

She watched him expectantly.

"I just need to tell you something first," he said.

She smiled. "You know you can tell me anything."

"It's, uh--kind of private. Maybe we could--" He looked around. "Come on." He took her hand and led her over to the janitor's closet.

"You see, I found out something about myself a couple of years ago that came as a pretty big surprise--" he said, as he closed the door behind them.

A moment later, there was a loud "gross!" The door slammed open, and Lana legged it up the hall.

Yeah, Clark thought. That went well.

When school finally let out, it seemed only natural to go see Lex. At the castle, he found a stream of moving men hauling an odd assemblage of equipment out to a truck--plasma screens and display cases and odd scientific-looking paraphernalia that Clark couldn't imagine what Lex was doing with.

He picked his way through the chaos and found Lex holed up in his study with the door closed, trying to ignore all the upheaval.

"What's going on?"

Lex shrugged. "Just getting rid of some things I don't need anymore."

"It's a mess out there. Helen must have gone to the hospital just to get away from the noise."

"I'm afraid Helen is one of the things that has departed."

Clark went pale. "Not because--"

Lex shook his head. "No, no, Clark, nothing like that. Conflicting goals. Trust issues. The usual relationship stuff."

"I'm really sorry."

Lex shrugged. "Win some, lose some, I guess."

"You must be upset. If this is a bad time--"

"It's not." He gestured toward the sofa. "Have a seat."

"I don't want to intrude--"

Lex went to the bar and held up a bottle of water.

"Uh--okay. Thanks."

Lex tossed it to him, and Clark made himself comfortable on the couch. Lex poured himself a drink and joined him.

"So what brings you by?"

Clark unscrewed the cap of his water, took a sip. "Something occurred to me. And made me curious."


Clark nodded. "I realized that you never said anything about it."

Lex smiled. "It was good for me too, if that's what you mean."

Clark blushed. "I'm glad. But I meant the other thing. You know, that I'm not exactly from around here."

"Ah." Lex looked down at the glass in his hand and didn't elaborate.

"That's it?"

"You were expecting something more dramatic?"

"Well--" Clark frowned. "Yeah."

"I know this may insult the pride you take in your powers of deception, Clark, but the fact that you're not from around here didn't exactly come as a big surprise to me."

Clark made a rueful face. "I guess I'm not quite as smooth as I like to think, huh?"

"Not quite." The corner of Lex's mouth quirked up.

"So--" Clark took a deep breath to ask the next question. "What are we going to do about your father?"

Lex's smile disappeared instantly. "Let me handle that."


"I won't ever let him hurt you, Clark. I promise."

Clark stared at him. "You can't--"

"I'm not going to kill him." Lex rolled his eyes. "Some of the ideas you have about me are less than flattering, you know."

"So what are you going to do?"

Lex sighed. "Everyone has their weaknesses, Clark. My father, grand master of the mindfuck that he is, is susceptible to conspiracy theories. I've already planted some evidence to make him think things are not quite as they seem. A trail of bread crumbs to suggest Walden was paid off and hustled out of the country, that the unrecognizably burned body was a drifter caught in a warehouse fire, the imprint on the hand a hoax. I've given my father just enough hints to believe that every extraterrestrial thing he's seen has merely been sleight of hand, to distract him from secrets more important and far more lucrative than an alien farmboy could ever be. I'm expecting a ranting visit from him any day now."

Clark narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "That sounds like something out of the X Files."

Lex smiled cheerfully. "My father doesn't watch television. And while we're discussing containment, it would be helpful to know who else is in on the secret."

"Just my parents. And Pete. And, well--I told Lana today."

Lex went perfectly still. "Are you sure that was a good idea?"

Clark sighed. "Probably not. Although I'm certain she won't tell anyone. In fact, she's probably blocking it from her memory as we speak. I just really had to know. If it made a difference to her. And, well, it does."

"I'm sure once she's had some time to get used to it--"

Clark shook his head. "You didn't see her face. I think she has this idea now-- That it's not just big. But kind of, you know, a tentacle."

Lex struggled to keep a straight face, but finally couldn't. And Clark had to laugh, too.

"She backed away from me like I was something out of 'Alien'."

"Oh, Clark. Clark." Lex cupped Clark's head in his hand, stroked his hair with his thumb. "I'm sorry. I really am."

He shrugged. "Win some, lose some, like you said. And it's not as if this came as a big surprise, either. I even asked her once, rhetorically, if she'd like to meet an alien, and she said she'd be scared. And she was. Anyway, I think it probably worked out for the best."

He held Lex's gaze. Lex tightened his fingers in Clark's hair. Clark leaned forward a little, and then Lex's lips were on his, touching off the spark that had been simmering between them since Clark first got there, possibly since the first moment they laid eyes on each other. The kissing quickly grew frenzied, Clark pressed back against the cushions, Lex half draped over him. And it occurred to Clark that he was rather glad Lana had rejected him. Because if she hadn't, he'd have to stop doing this. And this wasn't anything he wanted to give up anytime soon.

Lex started to turn kind of blue, human need to breathe and all, and finally broke the kiss. He rested his head against Clark's shoulder and murmured something Clark couldn't quite make out, but that sounded extremely satisfied.

Clark stroked the soft skin of his scalp and asked the one thing he most wanted to know. "Be honest," he said. "Didn't it freak you out just a little bit?"

"No," Lex said, with perfect assurance.

"Then you're the only one."

Lex pulled back to look at him. "Clark--"

"It's true. My parents seem half afraid of me sometimes. Pete always wants me to do tricks. And Lana--well, you heard how well that went. You're the only one who sees me as just--me."

"Just you is all I've ever wanted," Lex said, softly.

Clark pulled him down for another kiss. "I want you, too. I want--" He pictured Lex's bed, all the imaginative things they could do there. "Everything." He sighed. "Although, with my luck, I probably have an inhumanly tiny asshole to go with my oversized dick."

"Clark." Lex's eyes sparkled. "You say that as if it's bad thing."

He laughed. "Well, I guess at least it will be an adventure finding out."

Lex smiled. "Now that's the spirit."

Clark grinned back at him. Suddenly, being an anatomically incorrect alien didn't seem like such a bad deal, after all.



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Can I get a side order of feedback with that?