The Single Smirking Prince

Summary: A Smallville fairy tale, to the tune of The Twelve Dancing Princesses.

Warnings: Rated NC-17. m/m.

Once upon a time in a land not so very far away, there was a rich and unscrupulous king named Lionel who had but one goal in life, to be the richest, most powerful man in all the world. The king was a born schemer, and the quest for dominance was one to which he was perfectly suited, employing devious schemes to ruin his rivals, amassing unimaginable wealth with each new plot.

Although still driven by ambition, he had at last reached a point in his life where he could look around, survey his domain and feel well-satisfied with everything...well, almost everything.

King Lionel had a single heir, the crowned Prince Lex--a sensual youth who could charm a maidservant out of her bloomers with but one of his sultry smiles --and this was precisely the source of the king's greatest discontent. Prince Lex had no interest in the maidservants' unmentionables, but was far more likely to be found down at the barn coaxing the stable boys out of their breeches. It was not at all unusual for the prince's valet to find stray bits of hay stuck in his master's clothes and telltale streaks of manure marring the royal shoes.

"It will not do!" King Lionel berated his son one morning at breakfast, smashing his hand down onto the table with such a force of anger that the decanter of wild pomegranate juice nearly upended.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Prince Lex said, not the least bit apologetic.

"You are to be ruler of this land one day. You must find a suitable woman, marry and produce the next generation to carry on our noble name."

Prince Lex yawned.

Not one to be thwarted by his son's contrariness--or anything else, for that matter--King Lionel petitioned neighboring kingdoms and found for his son three of the most lovely and sought-after ladies in the land, Princess Victoria of Hardwick, Lady Helen, daughter of the Right Honorable Dr. Bryce, and Dame Desiree, who had risen to rank through her first marriage to a squire killed not long after their wedding in a freak hunting accident.

"Any one of these ladies will make a fine queen. You will spend time with them, get to know them and choose one for your bride."

"We'll see about that," Prince Lex replied.

The king glowered at his son, not at all pleased with his insolence, but one of the great joys of being king was that he gave the orders and so the royal decree went forth that on three successive nights there would be a ball in each lady's honor and the prince would act as escort.

Not even the crowned prince dared defy one of the King's decrees, and so Prince Lex squired the ladies to their balls, treating them with perfect politeness, if no actual interest. He danced with them and made conversation, fetched punch and even went so far as to engage in some mild flirtation. Raising his father's hopes only to dash them was great sport as far as the young prince was concerned. At the end of each evening, he bade the ladies goodnight with a formal bow and no regret. In the morning, there was hay in his clothes and cow dung on his shoes, just as there always was.

When news reached the king that the prince had not ceased his nocturnal carousing with the local peasant boys, he fell into such a wild rage that he banished for life anyone unlucky enough to cross his path at that moment.

"Summon my son!" King Lionel thundered. "I command that he appear before me!"

Everyone scurried to carry out the order, and the prince sauntered into the throne room some moments later, looking decidedly unconcerned about his father's ill temper.

King Lionel pointed his finger indignantly. "You will cease your disgraceful cavorting at once. I have tolerated your predilections for as long as I have because boys will dabble in such juvenile pleasures, but the time has come to put away childish things and take on adult responsibilities."

"Father, I have told you a million times. I have no yearning for women. It would be wrong of me to wed someone I have no feeling for. And besides, none of your three ladies is anyone you'd want for a daughter-in-law, trust me on this. In your eagerness for a wedding, you have failed to observe the truth about them."

The king's face darkened. "Do you dare to slander three such flowers of womanhood?"

Prince Lex gave his father a knowing smile. "Oh, it isn't slander, my lord father. You'll find that out soon enough."

His son's defiance only served to make the king more determined than ever that he should marry one of the beauties he'd procured for him, but the ladies themselves soon proved the undoing of that plan. The first to fall from favor was Dame Desiree, who went afoul of the Wise Woman, the elderly old crone who had the gift of sight and was always called in to give her opinion on the fortune of any prospective royal match.

"She is a witch," the Wise Woman pronounced with one glance at Desiree. "A dark witch, in fact."

A gasp went up throughout the great hall.

"How dare you, you old bitch!" Dame Desiree shouted, in a rather unladylike fashion.

"Surely, you don't believe this?" the king asked the old woman.

The Wise Woman shrugged. "Check her room if you need proof."

The king dispatched his guard, and they returned with enough tools of sorcery to have kept an entire coven of witches busy.

"He would have chosen me!" Desiree screamed, as they dragged her away. "I would have made sure of that!"

Prince Lex did not even try to hide his smile, and King Lionel glowered with barely suppressed wrath.

The next to disgrace herself was Princess Victoria, who from the very start had spent more of her time cozying up to the king than Prince Lex. King Lionel had been a widower these fifteen years and was still, if he did say so himself, quite the royal catch. He was beginning to think that perhaps he should make Princess Victoria his own bride, set to work producing a new heir, and rid himself of his sodomite son the old-fashioned way, by disinheriting him.

Unhappily, though, Princess Victoria proved herself unworthy of such an honor when the king came upon her in his chamber, rifling through his desk, reading his private papers.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

She turned red and then pale, but tried to smile. "Waiting for you, of course," she said, in her most seductive voice.


They came running, and the king demanded they search her. Hidden in her robes were secret plans for the expansion of his empire. King Harry of Hardwick and King Lionel had an uneasy truce at best, and Princess Victoria had apparently been sent to spy on him.

"Take her away!" King Lionel ordered.

"You're not half the man my father is, you dirty old pervert!" she proclaimed as the guards hauled her off.

This time, Prince Lex laughed openly, and his father raged the rest of the day and long into the night.

But there was still Lady Helen, and the king quickly placed all his hopes on her. But she, too, proved to have a weakness, one not so very different from Prince Lex's. Lady Helen was for the most part discreet in her liaisons, and the king would no doubt have remained ignorant of her secret if he had not received a mysterious letter warning that brigands had snuck into the castle and were planning at that very moment to abduct Lady Helen. The king marshaled his guard, and they all went charging off to Lady Helen's chamber, prepared to defend her from the outlaws. When they threw open the door, they were startled to find one of the serving girls, naked and in bed with her mistress, busily at work between Lady Helen's wide-flung legs.

The members of the guard gawked in lewd fascination.

The king sighed with disgust. "Get her out of here."

"There should be no such thing as a love that dares not speak its name!" Lady Helen declared as they escorted her away.

"My sentiments exactly," said Prince Lex, who had appeared not long after the commotion had begun.

"You know the law does not recognize such unions," his father snapped.

"Because you wrote it that way, and you could just as easily change it."

The king scowled, not at all happy to have been bested by his smirking son. It was time for some well-deserved revenge. "It is not the law that needs adjustment, but your behavior," he declared. "From now on, you will be locked into your chamber at night. There will be no more secret trysts with your illicit lovers. You will remain so imprisoned until you have learned your lesson and agree to take a wife."

Prince Lex bowed before his father. "As you wish. But know this, my lord father, I will never marry anyone I do not love."

King Lionel smiled smugly. "We will see my, son, if you still feel the same way after many long nights spent alone."

And so, each evening when the prince retired, the king himself came to lock him away. He kept the key on a chain around his neck and never entrusted it to anyone else's care. He even slept with it under his pillow. There was but one door to Prince Lex's chamber, and the only other way out or in was through a large window that overlooked the fields. But the room was so high up in the tower and the stone wall so hard to climb that anyone who tried to gain access that way would most certainly end up dashed to bits on the hard ground below.
It was a foolproof plan, and King Lionel heartily congratulated himself. And yet...

Every morning, when the prince's chamber was unlocked, the bed was always found in complete disarray, the sheets stained with the evidence of pleasure, the prince's pajamas torn, his neck marked with passion.

"You seem tired," the king would say to him over breakfast.

To which the prince would always reply, "I'm afraid I didn't get much sleep last night."

It was enough to drive the king to distraction. He posted guards outside the prince's door to make sure he wasn't somehow able to sneak out or someone else sneak in, but they sat and they watched and nothing stirred all night. And yet, the next day, the prince looked as well-fucked as ever.

"It must be trickery of some sort," the king said to his loyal minion Dominic. "I have ordered an observation nook to be created next to the prince's room without his knowledge. You will secret yourself away there tonight and keep watch and report back to me everything that transpires."

Dominic bowed. "As you wish, my lord." He was always honored to serve, and if that meant getting to watch the sensual young prince in his most private moments, so much the better then.

Before the prince retired for the night, Dominic hid himself in the little nook. Prince Lex arrived in his chamber surrounded by his servants, and Dominic strained to see as they helped their master disrobe, but there were so many of them thronging about that he was robbed of even a glimpse of the young prince's creamy skin. Clad in his pajamas, the prince slipped into bed and dismissed his servants for the evening. The king came as usual to lock him in. Dominic sighed softly and prepared for a long night of watching his lordship sleep.

He did not know how much time had passed before the prince got back out of bed and lit a candle, an hour, perhaps more. The prospect of something more interesting about to happen roused Dominic to attention. He pressed his eye to the peephole. There was a noise at the window, and he was afraid he might be losing his senses, because what he saw could not possibly be, a boy flying as effortlessly as a bird through the window, alighting gracefully at the young prince's side.

"I thought you weren't coming," Prince Lex said.

"There was a problem with the cattle. I had to wait for my parents to go back to sleep."

The boy stepped into the light, and Dominic had to clap his hand over his mouth to keep from gasping out loud. It was Squire Kent's son, Clark, heir to the Kents' prosperous farm, considered one of the land's most eligible young bachelors, second only to Prince Lex himself.

"You have no idea how it feels when I'm waiting for you," Prince Lex said.

"Do you not think I am just as desperate with longing?" Clark asked softly. "If you need a demonstration of my desire, then, pray, let me show you."

The boy pulled at his clothes, let them fall to the floor, and stood naked before the prince, his cock swollen with need.

"Clark," the prince gasped.

The boy was on him at once, the royal pajamas rending in his hands, exposing all that flawless skin that Dominic had been so eager to see.

"Touch me," the prince begged. "Fuck me."

Clark's hands were everywhere, a blur of pleasure. He licked at the curve of the prince's elegant neck, tasting, biting, leaving his mark on royal skin. Dominic's cock surged to instant hardness, and he had to shove his hand into his mouth to keep from giving himself away.

The boy laid a greedy kiss on the prince's lips before falling to his knees. He stroked the prince's belly, bent his head and then--God!--set to work on the prince's cock with such rousing eagerness that Dominic could not get his hand into his pants fast enough.

The prince's voice was rough with passion when he cried out his release. Clark caressed his hips through the last shudders of his orgasm and licked his lips when it was over. "So beautiful," he whispered.

Prince Lex grappled at the boy's shoulders and urged him to his feet. Their bodies tangled together as they shared heated kisses. Clark walked them backwards until they fell laughing onto the bed.

There was a great deal more kissing and stroking, then the prince pulled a small vial from his bedside drawer and pressed it into Clark's hand. The boy poured out some of the liquid, and his hand disappeared between the prince's legs. The only sounds in the room were the prince's soft moans and his ragged breathing. Finally, Clark drew his hand away and gently turned the prince onto his belly. Dominic was no stranger to the ways of pleasure--being a loyal and trusted minion of the king did have its advantages--but he was not prepared for the raw jolt of lust that ran through him at the sight of the boy slicking his erection, moving between the prince's open thighs and possessing him. Prince Lex moaned and rubbed himself against the sheets, and Dominic's grip on his own erection tightened as he watched the boy's thick cock pumping between royal cheeks.

The prince came and then Clark and then Dominic, who had to bury his face in the crook of his arm to keep from groaning out loud. Afterwards, the prince curled up against Clark's back. When the boy started to slip from the bed, he held on to him with a desperate grip.

"Don't go. Not yet."

Clark dropped a kiss to Prince Lex's nose. "Don't worry. I'll be right back."

He crossed the room to where his clothes lay scattered on the floor and pulled something that glittered in the light from the pocket of his pants. He returned to bed, and then Dominic could see what he had, two gold rings. One he slipped onto the prince's finger, the other his own.

He held up his hand to admire it. "I wish we never had to take them off."

"Me too," Prince Lex said, with obvious sadness. "But the time will come when we won't have to pretend anymore, when we can live together as married people should."

Clark lowered his eyes and didn't answer.

"Hey." Prince Lex tilted his chin with his fingers. "Don't you believe me?"

"I believe it's what you want. But your father...he'll never change his mind."

"Perhaps not," the prince conceded. "But, then, my father won't live forever. And when I'm king, the first thing I'll do is to change that stupid, antiquated law."

"Just don't do anything you'll regret to make that day come sooner," Clark whispered.

The prince gave him a reassuring kiss. "I'm not going to kill my father, Clark. I'm just going to bide my time."

"At least, we have our nights together," the boy said, with a seductive smile.

They made love again And again. And again. Just before the first light broke on the horizon, the prince walked Clark to the window and gave him one last kiss.

"My beloved husband."

"My sweet prince."

They embraced, and the boy flew away.

Dominic let himself out of his hiding place. The king had commanded that he report his findings at once, and a prudent man never kept King Lionel waiting. He hurried to his majesty's study.

"Yes, yes, tell me all that you have seen," the king demanded.

"It is just as you have guessed, your majesty. There is trickery at work here."

"Indeed. Pray tell me the details."

"Last night, your son dismissed his servants and went to bed, where he stayed most of the night. It was only just before dawn broke that he rose again, rumpled the bedcovers, pinched his neck with his own fingers to make a red mark, and then, uh--" He hesitated as a sign of respect for the king's feelings. "Took care of his needs, so to speak, to leave behind evidence that would make you think someone else had been there."

"What a devious son I've raised!" King Lionel said, with a hint of pride. "How much will I enjoy seeing the look on his face when I tell him I've uncovered the truth of his duplicity."

"If your majesty thinks that's the best way to proceed..."

"You have another idea?"

Dominic bowed low to the floor. "If it pleases your grace."

"It does."

"Perhaps the best comeuppance is simply to do nothing. Let your son continue his elaborate, futile efforts to deceive you, all the while laughing to yourself at his expense."

King Lionel smiled. "Indeed. Your approach has merit, Dominic."

Dominic bowed again. "I am pleased your grace thinks so."

The king touched his finger to his lips. "Not a word then. Let my son continue his nighttime shenanigans, and we will enjoy the joke for as long as we can."

"As you wish, your majesty."

"Good work, Dominic."

Dominic bowed one last time and took his leave.

With any luck, the king would never discover the truth. Dominic certainly planned to do everything in his power to see that he didn't. He might be a loyal and trusted minion, but he was by no means a stupid one. As Prince Lex had said, his father would not live forever, perhaps not even much longer if the information Dominic had learned about his majesty's liver condition was true. There was no point in making an enemy of a future king to win the favor of one who would soon be so much dust.

Besides, there was a handsome young lieutenant in the royal guard he'd always rather fancied, whom he'd long thought would make someone a fine husband. It might as well be him.

Long live King Lex! Dominic thought, with a smile.


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